A forest bath

It being January, those familiar with Chicago, even very casually, know what the weather is like on the other side of the window. Winter’s got its gnarled grip on the city, and most likely will not let go until May. In an attempt to refresh and rehydrate, I scheduled my first trip of the new year – a week in northern California visiting friends and family.

Even in January, Oakland’s river of parks and outdoor spaces run green, a deeply saturated green. The trails are alive with plants at all stages of the growth process, fern fronds drip with dew and moss and fungus squeeze through cracks in centuries old bark. Midway through my trip, I convinced a good friend to join me on a morning hike around Huckleberry Botanic Regional Preserve, which is essentially a living native plant museum. My dream come true.

The species of flora in Huckleberry can’t be found anywhere else in the East Bay. Throughout the loop, interpretive plaques lean toward passersby from the surrounding brush, describing plants of interest with an unmatched lyricism. The morning I set out, parents pointed at the illustrated berries and trunk burls, cross referencing their maps. Children dashed down muddy paths, a flurry of energy beneath the serene bay tree forest. I breathed in deep at every turn in the trail, noticing the sounds, the smells, the particular quality of light filtering through even the thickest leaves.

One of my favorite writers, Rahawa Haile, recently reported on a forest bathing excursion she took in the East Bay, not far from Huckleberry. She wrote of focusing on the little things, heightening her awareness of her surroundings, letting her mind fall quiet. Back home in Chicago, I’d never thought of going out specifically in search of a place to forest bathe, but reading Haile’s description, I realized it’s what I do every time I spend time in nature. I get intentional. I walk slowly, probably deeply frustrating those I wrangle into hiking with me. I consider every plant, every color, and shade, and tint, every texture, every level of contrast from brightest white to deep, dark black.

The breadth of plant life at Huckleberry is dizzying, but walking the trail there, experiencing this unique ecological community, is the most soothing experience I’ve had outdoors in a long while. I know for sure that coming from Chicago’s deep winter, the Bay Area’s greens looked greener, the humidity in the air felt more moisturizing, the magic of turning the corner from a deeply shaded chunk of trail into the bright, warm sun – unspeakably stronger.

Maybe it’s warm and pleasant where you live, but if it’s real winter – deep winter, the kind of winter that burrows under your skin and refuses to let go – maybe these memories of a morning under the live canyon oak canopy will transport you. Breathe deep. Let’s take a walk.

Oakland CA’sHuckleberry Botanic Regional Preserve is a glorious place to visit in winter. The loop trail is moderate, though it does include some semi-steep elevation changes. There were a few bugs buzzing about, which I imagine would become more of a nuisance as the weather gets warmer. Getting to Huckleberry is easiest in a car (I carpooled with a friend), but the East Bay bus service, AC Transit, will get you within a 10 minute walk of the trailhead on Bus 642.



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LaBagh Woods

The day before Christmas, the sideways snow beckoned me. We rushed to pull on our thickest boots and layers of wool. People were out on the streets, no doubt in search of last minute gifts. We, however, were on the hunt for something different, quieter.

The forest was silent, save for the shifting snow beneath our feet, and the howl of the late December wind. We spotted a few pairs of footsteps, both human and non. All hardy pioneers who must have walked these paths just before us, curving the trails slowly, in wonder.

Snowy path in the LaBagh Woods, Chicago IL / Darker than Green

The snow made a new home of every surface, on ridges in the tiniest leaves, deep in creases in desiccated inflorescence, nestled in the elbows of stems and branches. Each a perfect container for the icy white flecks. The whole world, a bowl, filling slowly, steadily.

We shuffled across an old concrete bridge, sprayed with decades of graffiti, and peered over the edge. The Chicago River below, weaving between wedged white rocks, holding afloat a family of ducks unfazed by the cold. The morning’s accumulation on my coat’s hood and shoulders had begun to melt, and my hands were icy and hard. But I was mesmerized by the slow swirl of the water, the endless fall of the tiniest snowflakes, the arches and shapes left behind in winter’s wake. My feet held firm to the spot.

The cold, and the ache of hunger, eventually shook us awake from our forest dream. Before heading home, we ambled east to the lakefront. We weren’t alone. A bulk of families, careening down and trudging back up the sledding hill. A handful of men, heavy with gear, photographing a flock of stubborn seabirds. And us, steeling ourselves against the beach’s swift winds, hoods pulled tight, eyes wide open to the perfect beauty of a snowy day.

The LaBagh Woods is an incredible forest preserve right in Chicago. When you’re in the middle of the park, you’ll barely have any recollection that you’re still in the city. It’s easy to get to on bus, either the 54A Cicero, or the 92 Foster. For some winter beach time, we went to Montrose Beach and swung past Cricket Hill, a great place to sled or just feed your yearning for a change in elevation. In the winter, where you go outside doesn’t really matter. It’s going outside at all that makes the difference. So even though it’s freezing, I promise you’ll be happy you went.



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Thinking about 2017

Maybe it’s my negativity bias, the little voice inside my head that’s always nagging and needling, but when December pulled in, I worried that I hadn’t done enough, hadn’t seen enough, been enough places, written enough, put myself out there enough. The list goes on. What is it that holds so many of us hostage? That internal fear that who we are and what we’ve accomplished isn’t adequate – Where does it come from?

When I set out to start working on this year’s little review post, I wondered what I would find in my notes. Somehow, everything starts to get cloudy come year’s end, and when I squinted back toward my 2017, all I could see was soggy weather and unpleasant news headlines. Of course, that’s not all this year was. Actually, that’s not what this year was at all.

What we pay attention to becomes our reality. The more we focus on the negative, the more negative things will seem and the more negative we’ll feel about everything. The inverse, as you know, is also true. So thank goodness for my copious notes. Thank goodness for my robust calendar events that remind me what I did, where I went, who I spent time with, and what I made possible. A lot happened in 2017. Some of it was bad. But a great deal of it was wonderful. So because my life is built from the things I pay attention to, here’s where I choose to put my focus in these last days of the year. These are a few of my favorites from 2017.

Wet branch dripping with rain, Chicago / Darker than Green

JANUARY
Best way to start the new year: An Indian buffet and a sunny walk past public art
Best investment in myself: Classes to learn how to make make wheel-thrown ceramics
Best way to learn more about your neighborhood: Local alderman meetings (frustrating, but enlightening)

Bare tree at night after a snowstorm / Darker than Green

FEBRUARY
Best wintertime escape: Miami, FL
Best camping in South Florida: Cayo Costa State Park
Best new taco spot: Coyo Taco
Best live band to transport you to warmer climes: Lone Piñon

Our hands, New Orleans / Darker than Green

MARCH
Best new experience: Reiki at Lake Kegonsa, WI with my friends
Best old experience: Time spent with my family in New Orleans
Best vegan sandwich: Fritai in St. Roch Market, New Orleans, LA
Best city park: Crawford Square in Savannah, GA
Best place to trail bike: Skidaway Island State Park
Best dessert: Banana pudding ice cream at the Sugar Shack on Tybee Island, GA

Purpleleaf Plum tree (Prunus cerasifera) in full flower, Chicago IL / Darker than Green

APRIL
Best weekend doing manual labor: Spring planting party at Field + Florist’s Michigan farm
Best conversation I listened in on: Kim Drew and Kyra Kyles for Chicago Humanities Fest
Best early spring wander: South Shore Nature Preserve

View of Lake Michigan from Warren Dunes, Michigan / Darker than Green

MAY
Best birthday hike: Cowles Bog trail at Indiana Dunes State Park, IN
Best breakfast, still: Luisa’s Cafe in Harbert, MI
Best wine tasting: The off-dry riesling at Dablon Winery
Best new web series: The Doula is IN (featuring yours truly in one of the first scenes!)

Wild grasses near Cranberry Slough, IL / Darker than Green

JUNE
Best place to get drunk and yell at people you used to go to college with: Jimmy’s Woodlawn Tap
Best live podcast show: Another Round at Thalia Hall
Best summer hammocking: Near Cranberry Slough and the Little Red Schoolhouse Nature Center
Best summer evening treat: Miko’s Italian Ice

Cup of cranberries I picked in Pembroke Township / Darker than Green

JULY
Best summer weekend: Running my own booth at Square Roots
Best dream realized: Seeing Solange live at Pitchfork
Best place to pick blueberries and connect with the elders: Pembroke Township, IL
Best thing to do with out-of-towners: Chicago Architecture Boat Tour
Best movie I saw twice: Girls Trip

Clouds just after totality / Darker than Green

AUGUST
Best place to have beach-side drinks with your coworkers: The Dock at Montrose Beach
Best thing to happen to me: Witnessing solar eclipse totality in Kentucky
Best Airbnb: Forest Homestead in Bloomington, IN
Best new (to me) falafel spot: Pita Inn

Meandering paths in the Garden of the Phoenix, Jackson Park / Darker than Green

SEPTEMBER
Best Labor Day hike: Jackson Park and the Osaka Garden
Best day trip: Milwaukee Art Museum for the Rashid Johnson show
Best waterfall: Cascade Falls, Patapsco Valley State Park, Ellicott City, MD
Best bar: WC Harlan (get the amaro flight!)

Tiny mushrooms and moss, Patapsco Valley State Park, Maryland / Darker than Green

OCTOBER
Best drink to sip on a sunny Sunday with friends: Tom Collins
Best live music experience: Moses Sumney
Best wildlife spotting: Thousands and thousands of black birds flying over Margo’s corn field
Best community building event: Boss Bitch Queens New Moon Vision Boarding
Best autumn leaf-peeping: Miami Woods in Morton Grove, IL

Bright yellow oak leaves, Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

NOVEMBER
Best jazz series: The Bridge at the Logan Center for the Arts
Best two hours spent wandering a bookstore: Arcana Books In Culver City, CA
Best (unexpectedly gluten-free) breakfast: Honey Hi
Best vegan dinner: Stuff I Eat
Best vegan brioche bun: at the Butcher’s Daughter (for real, this thing changed my life)

Giant agave plant lit up at night, Garfield Park Conservatory, Chicago IL / Darker than Green

DECEMBER
Best holiday bazaar worked with friends: at Lula Cafe
Best winter discovery: Garfield Park Conservatory’s late night hours on Wednesdays
Best digestif sipper to share: Amaro Nonino Quintessentia (special mention: Ebo Lebo Ottoz)
Best place to watch the snow fall on Christmas Eve: LaBagh Woods


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The longest night

Garfield Park Conservatory at night, Chicago / Darker than Green

Uplit ferns in the Garfield Park Conservatory at night, Chicago / Darker than Green

Fern fronds in the Garfield Park Conservatory at night, Chicago / Darker than Green

The other night, I met a good friend at the Garfield Park Conservatory. What is usually a mid-winter daytime pilgrimage turned into a late night walk through the deep forest, just a few miles away from our homes. The Conservatory is open every day of the year until 5pm, but on Wednesdays, they turn on the lights and let wanderers stroll until 8.

Fern fronds in the Garfield Park Conservatory at night, Chicago / Darker than Green

Fern fronds in the Garfield Park Conservatory at night, Chicago / Darker than Green

Fern fronds in the Garfield Park Conservatory at night, Chicago / Darker than Green

A part of me worried that the rooms of the conservatory, glorious to behold in the daytime, would look stark and unwelcoming at night, with bright fluorescents beating down from overhead. But it was quite the opposite. Bold spotlights gelled in brilliant colors lit up the undersides of ferns, bounced off the bark of tropical trees, dribbled down rocky waterfalls and into rippling, bottomless pools. The sounds of rushing water mixed with the echoes of children laughing in the Sugar from the Sun room. Our footsteps fell on damp stone and shuffled beside leaves rustling in the fan-fed breeze.

Cactus in the Garfield Park Conservatory at night, Chicago / Darker than Green

The desert room, Garfield Park Conservatory at night, Chicago / Darker than Green

In the desert room, Garfield Park Conservatory at night, Chicago / Darker than Green

There, that night, the air somehow felt more humid. Our ears perked at the chorus of crickets, our noses caught wind of the peat and loam stuffed in crevices at our toes. Some walkways sat in total darkness, and our brains rushed to fill the gaps. In the Desert room, tall columns of cactus masqueraded as men standing perfectly still. Neon colors got caught on succulent leaves and sharp spines, throwing strange shadows on the walls and windows surrounding us. All our senses sharpened to make up for what we couldn’t see in the dark.

Cactus in the desert room, Garfield Park Conservatory at night, Chicago / Darker than Green

Giant agave, Garfield Park Conservatory at night, Chicago / Darker than Green

Wild desert plants in the Garfield Park Conservatory at night, Chicago / Darker than Green

I love the sun, and crave the light. Here, on the winter solstice, the precipice of the coldest season, I feel myself falling deeper into the darkness. On the other side of today, the days begin the get longer, minute by minute, but what might I learn by sitting in these shadows, unbothered, unmoved?

As I wandered through the Conservatory that night, I walked past a young woman sitting on a wooden bench in a barely lit room. Her face was calm, her eyes closed, breathing even. I can’t know what she was thinking about, if she was meditating or considering some hidden train of thought, but the sight of her reminded me of what’s special about this season. Now is the time to sit in the shadows, to explore the darkness, wade in it, and get lost in what could be. These dark days hold lessons for us all. And what more perfect place than this to open our eyes wide and wait for them to adjust.

Maidenhair fern, Garfield Park Conservatory at night, Chicago / Darker than Green

Papyrus, Garfield Park Conservatory at night, Chicago / Darker than Green

Papaya plant backlit, Garfield Park Conservatory at night, Chicago / Darker than Green

Dracaena branches, Garfield Park Conservatory at night, Chicago / Darker than Green


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Fall in the Miami Woods

Fall foliage in Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

Fall isn’t an easy season to love. I suppose for people that love fall, that statement couldn’t be farther from the truth. So I’ll restate and say fall hasn’t been an easy season for me to love. It’s beautiful on the surface, but fall embodies a mortal challenge, an essential question — can we acknowledge and appreciate what we have before it inevitably disappears?

Fall foliage in Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

A warm-colored fall vista in Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

Standing on shed bark, Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

I love spring and summer because they’re warm, full of life, full of promise. Fall’s promise is a brilliant star, bursting violently before petering out. A final flash. A timed test. Fall isn’t easy like spring and summer. Loving fall has been a trial. Some years I lose, some years I win. With age, acceptance has begun to come easier to me, but I still struggle. I still want the warmth and color to last always.

Fall foliage in Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

Fall foliage in Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

Fall foliage in Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

Autumn trees in Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

There’s something about fall that makes you want to reach out for it. Fall feels like a love you know has changed, you feel it slipping away from you, but all you can do is watch it disappear. Fall feels soft and cruel at the same time. It’s a feathery seedpod, most inviting, but quickly disintegrating even within your lightest grasp.

Feathery autumn grasses in the late afternoon light, Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

Shed bark of an ash tree, Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

Large tree without leaves silhouetted against the late afternoon light, Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

Fall is alive, but you know it won’t be for long. The squirrels hurry, hawks swoop with urgency, late summer wildflowers rush to spread seeds and tuck in for the long night to come. Logic knows the end is right around the corner, but our eyes gobble up the warm prism reflected through every brightly hued leaf. The forest feels alive, more than ever — its gestures wide, its angles active.

Mossy log, Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

Bent and broken trees in Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

Bright yellow oak leaves, Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

And in fall, we can’t help but see ourselves in the mirror all around us. We can’t help but wonder where we fit into all this change. The seasons are the simplest and most enduring metaphor for our own mortality, and fall is a beautiful, tragic reminder that none of this can last forever.

Man silhouetted against fall foliage in Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

Boots in a patch of creeping charlie, Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

Along the bank of the Chicago River, Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

So loving fall isn’t easy. Loving fall is accepting the fear, accepting what happens next — the all-consuming cold, the complete drought of color, the sharp and brutal winter. Maybe sleep, maybe death. I still feel myself stiffen as summer comes to a close, my instinct to resist the shift in seasons and run. But with each leaf, turning from green to bright red to brown and done, I remember that loving fall is loving change. It might not be an easy season, but with each passing year, the transition feels a little less impossible.

Wildflowers going to seed in the autumn light, Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

Deer in the forest, Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

Fall foliage in Miami Woods, Morton Grove Illinois / Darker than Green

These photos were taken during a perfect fall day in the Miami Woods, a forest preserve along the north branch of the Chicago River in Morton Grove, Illinois. The woods can be reached via Metra or the Skokie Swift. It’s a spectacular place to walk slowly, get off the trail, and soak in the change happening all around you.



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Patapsco Valley State Park, Maryland

Last weekend, I went down to Maryland to celebrate the wedding of two friends. The ceremony took place outside of Baltimore, fairly close to the airport, in a state park that felt worlds away. Between vows and white wine spritzers, rounds of cornhole and grilled veggie burgers, tears hidden behind sunglasses and bold belly laughs, we were able to sneak away and do a little exploring.

Lone tree in the shade, Patapsco Valley State Park, Maryland / Darker than Green

The overcast heat felt like summer, but the signs of early fall were creeping in. Crisped up bits of brown lined the walkways, and flutters of yellow drifted down from the tallest branches. Despite the passing of the autumn equinox, the entire park surged with energy. Giant slate boulders pushed through the earth. The Patapsco River churned slowly, feeding a bevy of lush, creekside plants. Unknown bird calls and freight train whistles echoed between the trees. We almost mistook a still, black snake for a petrified tree branch.

Picnic area among the trees, Patapsco Valley State Park, Maryland / Darker than Green

Green groundcover, Patapsco Valley State Park, Maryland / Darker than Green

Inside the forest, along the Ridge Trail, the late afternoon light pooled in the thinning leaves. Fungus sprouted on fallen logs stretched out over pathways studded with rocks and roots. The elevation slowly began to rise, and being from the flat midwest, our unaccustomed feet struggled to maintain balance. Our special occasion footwear certainly didn’t help matters. But we pushed on.

Dappled sunlight in the trees, Patapsco Valley State Park, Maryland / Darker than Green

Fern frond, Patapsco Valley State Park, Maryland / Darker than Green

Sunlight through the branches, Patapsco Valley State Park, Maryland / Darker than Green

Fungus on a fallen log, Patapsco Valley State Park, Maryland / Darker than Green

At the farthest end of the Ridge Trail, we found Cascade Falls. The soft roar of rushing water reached our ears even in the parking lot, and after a short hike, we spotted the source. Beyond the rocky crag camouflaged with moss, behind the crowd of sun-shade trees, the white water splashed down into a shallow, gravely pool. Small groups of families climbed across the rocks to get a closer view of the falls, shutters clicked, voices carried clear through the soft, green valley.

Moss on stone, turning leaves, Patapsco Valley State Park, Maryland / Darker than Green

Tiny mushrooms and moss, Patapsco Valley State Park, Maryland / Darker than Green

Cascade Falls, Patapsco Valley State Park, Maryland / Darker than Green

Swinging bridge, Patapsco Valley State Park, Maryland / Darker than Green

As the sun began its descent below the tree line, we retraced our steps back to the trailhead and shuffled across the Swinging Bridge. A child’s heavy, joyful steps shook the bridge in its entirety – and I held onto the thick wound-wire railing to keep myself steady. At the center of the bridge, the valley dropped out below us and the view stopped us in our tracks. The wide river shimmered, mirroring the valley’s early evening light. Small groups of friends, families, fathers and sons, waded through the current below, their calls and shrieks lifting through the gaps in our wooden walkway.

Outside the park, reminders rang loud to make the most of the end of summer, to celebrate the long-awaited arrival of fall, to pull on those sweaters and dust off those boots. But here inside the park, time stood still. We all breathed the cooling air, and simply enjoyed what was.

View from the swinging bridge, Patapsco Valley State Park, Maryland / Darker than Green

Stone bridge at the entrance to Patapsco Valley State Park, Maryland / Darker than Green

Patapsco Valley State Park is one of the largest parks in Maryland, and sits about a 20 minute drive from downtown Baltimore. Driving is probably the easiest way to go, but you can definitely get there on public transportation, too. The 320 bus and the MARC Camden line both drop off close to the entrance to the park. No doubt that there are wonderful parks closer to the center of the city,
but if you’re in the mood for a getaway or camp-out, this may be your best, most beautiful bet.



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Jackson Park and the south side

View toward Wooded Island, Jackson Park, Chicago / Darker than Green

We shook up our Labor Day tradition, choosing not to travel out to the suburbs to browse the Botanic Garden, and opting instead for a walk in the woods, right in the middle of the city.

Jackson Park sparkles. It’s the kind of park that astounds you with its sheer size, its diversity of plant life, the variety and depth of its tints and shades. You can watch your reflection in the slow-moving lagoons, the green-gray water swirling below weeping willows and mature pin oaks. You can travel through multiple ecosystems in a matter of minutes — tallgrass prairie at Bobolink Meadow, dense forest on Wooded Island — and end your wander among the traditional Japanese plantings and meandering paths of the Garden of the Phoenix.

It’s an exquisite park. But Jackson Park is on the south side of Chicago, which means that if you don’t also live on the south side, you might not even know the place exists.

Garden of the Phoenix, Jackson Park / Darker than Green

Meandering path in the Garden of the Phoenix, Jackson Park / Darker than Green

Purple Japanese Maple in the Garden of the Phoenix, Jackson Park / Darker than Green

People like to talk about the south side, everyone has an opinion, even people who’ve never actually been there. So many of these conversations are haunted by the specter of crime and dark terror, the area’s violent reputation hovering on their tongues. Rarely, if ever, do they mention the beauty of the south side, the pervasive greenness, the regular people who live, work, learn, picnic, or walk garden paths there.

“But, isn’t it unsafe?” Unsafe — a blanket term deployed to describe any area inhabited largely by people of color. When I first moved to Chicago, I lived a fifteen minute walk from Jackson Park. I strolled through its large drifts of yellow coneflowers, wild onion blossoms catching my ankles as I crunched along on freshly mulched trails. I lingered below the giant gnarled tree limbs, heavy with thick-veined leaves and quaking cottonwood pods. I walked the streets alone, at night. I was fine. Still am. The south side isn’t perfect (which neighborhood is?), but it’s where I first began to fall in love with Chicago. It’s where I first began to actively learn about this new city where I’d chosen to set roots.

Meandering paths in the Garden of the Phoenix, Jackson Park / Darker than Green

Garden of the Phoenix, Jackson Park / Darker than Green

Raindrops on the lagoon, Garden of the Phoenix, Jackson Park / Darker than Green

Maybe you know some of the history. Our textbooks show us the south side of centuries ago gleaming bright white, the perfect neoclassical buildings of the 1893 World’s Columbian Exposition beckoning curious visitors from near and far. Popular historical fiction introduces us to unimaginable devils carrying out unconscionable murders, the crisp pages memorializing both victims and perpetrator. But today’s killings we hold at arm’s length, the circumstances too real, too dark, too ugly. Yesterday’s south side stands still in romantic sepia tones, while today’s south side pulsates, fully saturated in blacks and browns, fiscally ignored and harshly patrolled, misunderstood and antagonized on the global stage.

It is possible to appreciate a space without knowing its history. In many instances, it’s easier that way, easier to enjoy the uncomplicated beauty of nature, blinders up to the violence and injustice. But to ignore the truth, to ignore the context of Jackson Park and the area it inhabits, is careless. So I choose to see it all, the artifacts and lessons of the past, the challenges and solutions of the present, as well as the physical charm and natural grace.

Native plants in Jackson Park / Darker than Green

Jackson Park / Darker than Green

Near the end of our day in Jackson Park, the clouds gathered above and summer’s last raindrops began to fall. Inside the tangle of Wooded Island, late season blooms shuddered beneath the rhythmic shower, coaxing out the thick scent of fallen leaves, perfumed seed pods, and deep, dark loam. As we walked, the sounds of the south side found our ears – the slow roar of car engines on Cornell Drive, the airy hiss of the double-long #6 bus, laughter and 70s soul drifting from an unshakable family’s holiday cookout. We trudged through spongy grass to get a closer look at the huge gold figure beckoning from the median, a relic from when the White City hugged the southern end of the park. 24 feet of gilded bronze, dripping with rain, boldly wearing the wounds of a century of exposure to the harshest elements. She stood, drenched and weathered, but still mesmerizing and triumphant. A magnetic force, impossible to ignore, beautiful, strange, perfect. Just like the south side of Chicago.

The Statue of the Republic, Jackson Park / Darker than Green

Native plants in Jackson Park / Darker than Green

Jackson Park is located on the south side of Chicago, right along the shore of Lake Michigan. Despite what might feel like a great distance, it’s actually very easy to get there, even on public transportation. Leave from downtown on the scenic #6 bus, which runs express along the lake, or take the Metra Electric line, which is a little more expensive, but a smoother, quicker ride. Packing a picnic to enjoy in the park is always a great idea, but if you want to explore more of the Hyde Park area, Plein Air Cafe is a close walk away with multiple vegetarian and vegan options and great coffee. Plus it’s right next door to the world’s best bookstore. Go south!


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San Francisco Botanical Garden

Because of schedules and timetables and prior commitments, I knew I would have one full day in San Francisco to spend on my own. So I got an early start. BART dropped me off at the 16th Street station shy of 8am, where I walked past businesses still sleeping behind graffitied metal shutters. I feasted on a soft red pepper quiche from Tartine and bagged up half of my morning bun before hopping on a MUNI heading west.

I’d read that the San Francisco Botanical Garden was free as long as you arrived before 9am, and that’s exactly what I did. I strolled across Lincoln Way, down the most beautiful Martin Luther King, Jr. Drive I’d ever been on, and walked right through the garden’s open gate.

There are a lot of benefits to getting to the botanical garden early.

Japanese anemones, San Francisco Botanical Garden / Darker than Green

Aeoniums, San Francisco Botanical Garden / Darker than Green

Before 9am, you’ll have the place to yourself. You can wander from corner to corner, circling around cloud forests and through redwood trails without hearing so much as another footstep. The only people I encountered were staff: quietly deadheading, pruning, hosing down. And where the staff couldn’t reach, the irrigation system compensated. Hundreds of automatically timed sprinklers shuddered from behind wide leaves and brilliant inflorescence. As I went through the garden, I ran to dodge the great arcs of water. I shielded my camera from the unchecked droplets and watched the sun glitter in the periodic downpour.

Wet agaves, San Francisco Botanical Garden / Darker than Green

San Francisco Botanical Garden / Darker than Green

Morning desert plants, San Francisco Botanical Garden / Darker than Green

Bright green succulents at the San Francisco Botanical Garden / Darker than Green

Rainbow in the sprinklers in the desert area of the San Francisco Botanical Garden / Darker than Green

Before 9am, you can wander the garden freely. Just up a short hill, beyond the sun-loving succulents, I found backstage. Plants-in-process. There were no elaborate planting schemes, or well-placed interpretive plaques. Back here, in the far corner of the garden, young plants sat tucked into their plastic trays, tagged with their scientific names, staked and tied in white plastic hoop houses. Under the shade of a row of giant eucalyptus trees and below the looming Sutro Tower, I imagined what it would be like to work in the gardens, to care for the greenery, to see the early morning sun touch their leaves every day.

Moss growing at the San Francisco Botanical Garden / Darker than Green

Nursery area at the San Francisco Botanical Garden / Darker than Green

Succulents in a hoop house, San Francisco Botanical Garden / Darker than Green

Succulents in a hoop house, San Francisco Botanical Garden / Darker than Green

Succulents in a hoop house, San Francisco Botanical Garden / Darker than Green

That light, that unique light, is perhaps the best benefit to getting to the garden before 9am. The early morning sun is sly and generous, its angled beams streaming and pooling on the edges of silhouetted fronds. Before the sun reaches its midday high point, shadows are long and deep, pushing the bright colors of the foliage into even starker contrast. There’s a haze in the air, most likely still settling dew, that catches the light and turns it a warming yellow green. That light, like the morning itself, is a quiet secret: curling your lips at the corners; begging to be told; pressing on your lungs until they swiftly inhale and when you open your mouth, the sound that’s released is peppered with birdsong.

Plants in dappled sunlight, San Francisco Botanical Garden / Darker than Green

Bird's eye view of a plant at the San Francisco Botanical Garden / Darker than Green

Jerusalem sage, San Francisco Botanical Garden / Darker than Green

Wide view of the San Francisco Botanical Garden / Darker than Green

View through the bamboo, San Francisco Botanical Garden / Darker than Green

San Francisco Botanical Garden is 55 acres of walkable garden paradise, located in Golden Gate Park. It’s easily accessible via public transportation, many MUNI buses drive right by. If you’re planning to get there early in the morning, bring a jacket with you. San Francisco is beautiful, but it can get pretty chilly.



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The Gardens at Lake Merritt

Agave leaves at the Gardens at Lake Merritt, Oakland California / Darker than Green

I convinced my sister to walk around the Gardens at Lake Merritt with me. It doesn’t take much prodding to get me to spend a few hours in a public park on a sunny day. I’m always looking to take a breath, sink in. But my sister is a different person than I am. She hustles, negotiates, achieves.

Skeleton tree in the Gardens at Lake Merritt, Oakland California / Darker than Green

Birds perched at Lake Merritt, Oakland California / Darker than Green

Bonsai tree at Lake Merritt, Oakland California / Darker than Green

When I was a child, I often flew up from Los Angeles to stay with her in Oakland. She’s fourteen years older than me, and when I was a kid, the age gap felt wide and wonderful. Back then, she was always stretching me, pushing me to try new things. Once she tried to get me to run with her around the full perimeter of Lake Merritt, an idea that we both abandoned after just a few blocks of my heaving and wheezing.

She didn’t put her life on pause just because her little sister was in town. I tagged along to devastatingly cool 90s house parties: brightly lit rooms filled with flattops and fades, university grays and grinning white teeth held in place by parenthetical goatees. My mind was always racing to figure out what to say to her friends that were older and, at the time, smarter and funnier than I could ever hope to become. I remember one party where I got a roomful of adults to laugh at a joke I had made — my limbs went slightly numb at the rush of adrenaline that had brought with it equal amounts of surprise and pride.

Fall leaves in bonsai garden at Lake Merritt, Oakland California / Darker than Green

Fall leaves in bonsai garden at Lake Merritt, Oakland California / Darker than Green

Bonsai tree at Lake Merritt, Oakland California / Darker than Green

Those trips to Oakland were exciting, and scary. There was nothing stagnant about my sister or her life. She was an adult, in all the ways I could think to measure adulthood. During that time, the river of new thoughts and ideas and experiences rushed from her to me. She pushed me forward, nudged open the window that revealed a full landscape of possibilities, paths that led to social and intellectual fulfillment, corners punctuated by delicious food.

We laughed over soft, sweet dough from Merritt Bakery, hot griddled patties at Fatburger, foil-wrapped bean and cheese burritos, always with sour cream. I can still feel the coolness of the air in her Pearl Street apartment garage. I still remember how both of our voices sounded when we yelled out memorized rap verses on repeat, the words echoing between the windows of her white Miata.

Rhododendron garden in the Gardens at Lake Merritt, Oakland California / Darker than Green

Rhododendron garden in the Gardens at Lake Merritt, Oakland California / Darker than Green

There are some things that haven’t changed at all between us, even now when I go out to visit her in the Bay Area. I still feel young, inexperienced. I still crave her guidance and approval. During my recent trip to Oakland, I ate up my sister’s advice, gratefully let her chauffeur me around the city, fit myself snug to the corners of her life’s finely-sanded edges. We floated into a familiar dynamic, but I felt my own influences begin to assert themselves, for perhaps the first time in so many years.

I challenged my sister to take a break. I reacquainted her with corners of her city she’d only skimmed. I guided her to and through these bright green gardens, a short walk from the same lake we’d tried running around years before. This time, I set the pace.

Cacti at The Gardens at Lake Merritt, Oakland California / Darker than Green

Agave at the Gardens at Lake Merritt, Oakland California / Darker than Green

Cacti at the Gardens at Lake Merritt, Oakland California / Darker than Green

Cacti in the Gardens at Lake Merritt, Oakland California / Darker than Green

It was September, and though some of the deciduous leaves had already dropped, giant evergreen palms hovered above us, absorbing and reflecting the 80 degree heat. We walked slowly through the themed gardens: Japanese, edible, ornamental, desert. My thoughts wandered to the times we’d spent in this city, at this lake; to the history we share; to the traits and quirks that bind us together.

As we drifted through the densely planted corridors, we fell quiet and felt content. We talked low and laughed loudly; the beat of our footsteps falling into time, the sound of traffic on Grand Avenue whistling a familiar breeze at our backs. I was happy I’d been able to convince my sister to come with me to the park. And I think I know her well enough by now to say I could tell she was happy, too.

Dahlias in the Gardens at Lake Merritt, Oakland California / Darker than Green

Flowering salvia in the Gardens at Lake Merritt, Oakland California / Darker than Green

The Gardens at Lake Merritt are free to the public and open daily 9am-5:30pm. The bonsai gardens have slightly different hours, so check before you go The Gardens are a short and scenic 20 minute walk from the 19th Street BART station. If you’re feeling active, you can walk (or run) around the lake on the paved 3.2 mile multi-use path. If you’re feeling lazy, find a bench to sit on and watch the whole city stroll by. If you have a sister, bring her with you.



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Blues and greens

The day after Christmas, we heard it was going to be 50 degrees outside, a continuation of the extreme weather swings of the past few weeks. So we put on our fall boots and rode a bus all the way out East. We walked to Lake Michigan, and through Lincoln Park, and into the Conservatory. The wind along the lakefront threatened to push us over, but we bristled ourselves against the gusts and set our eyes out over the horizon.

We joined the steady flow of folks from out of town, folks visiting family, folks venturing out of their homes and pajamas for the first time in days. It was busy, the walkways were stuffed edge to edge with selfie-takers and cousins and new couples meeting parents for the first time. Children pointed out scavenger hunt finds and captured holiday trains on their tiny cellphones.

For the day, we had spring, a momentary break from the hostile weather of early December. At the end of the month, we were welcome outside again. We knew it wouldn’t last, but it felt good to get out, to get some fresh air, to walk along well worn paths and see some color.

Lake Michigan, Chicago / Darker than Green

Lake Michigan, Chicago / Darker than Green

Lake Michigan, Chicago / Darker than Green

Chicago clouds reflected in Alex's glasses / Darker than Green

Steps at Lake Michigan, Chicago / Darker than Green

Lincoln Park Conservatory, Chicago / Darker than Green

Palms in the Lincoln Park Conservatory, Chicago / Darker than Green

Vines in the Lincoln Park Conservatory, Chicago / Darker than Green

Sweat Plant, Lincoln Park Conservatory, Chicago / Darker than Green

Ferns in the Lincoln Park Conservatory, Chicago / Darker than Green

Ferns in the Lincoln Park Conservatory, Chicago / Darker than Green

Fern roots in the Lincoln Park Conservatory, Chicago / Darker than Green

Orchid in the Lincoln Park Conservatory, Chicago / Darker than Green

Palms in the Lincoln Park Conservatory, Chicago / Darker than Green

Palms in the Lincoln Park Conservatory, Chicago / Darker than Green

Lincoln Park Conservatory, Chicago / Darker than Green


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